How Could I Ever Do That?

I regularly listen to a podcast that ends with the question, “What would your seven-year-old self think about what you're doing now?” It is a simple question, but one that can reveal a great deal about God's work in our lives.

For me, it is more than a thought experiment. I became a Christian at the age of seven, in difficult circumstances, and I struggled with communication. If someone had told my seven-year-old self that one day I would be a priest, preaching, leading, and helping others grow in faith, I suspect I would have experienced a silent internal meltdown. How could I ever do that?

The podcast's closing question took on fresh significance during a CPAS 16-18 Leadership Development holiday at Danehill. As we explored what it means to be rooted in Christ, to recognise the gifts God has entrusted to us, and to grow intentionally as Christian leaders, a challenging theme emerged: are we willing to let God stretch us?

For many Gen Z young people, this is no small question. They are growing up in a culture that rightly values wellbeing, self-awareness and healthy boundaries, but which can sometimes treat discomfort as something to avoid rather than a means through which growth occurs. The gospel offers a different perspective. Again and again, God forms his people not by keeping them comfortable but by calling them beyond what feels safe and manageable. Leadership in God's kingdom is rarely about remaining within our capabilities; it is about learning to trust Christ in situations where our own resources are no longer enough.

The challenge at Danehill was not simply to identify gifts and strengths, but to ask where God might be calling us beyond them. Reflecting on this, I was struck by how God's people throughout Scripture were taken not merely into a stretch zone, but into places where only dependence on God could sustain them, what we might call the panic zone.

Moses' response to God's call was marked by hesitation and inadequacy: “Who am I?” “What shall I say?” and ultimately, “Please send someone else” (Exodus 3-4). 

Peter responded to Jesus' call and stepped out of the boat, only to be overwhelmed by fear and begin to sink. I suspect that if, on the road to Damascus, Saul had been shown the full extent of the ministry that lay before him, he too would have asked, “How could I ever do that?” Yet the consistent pattern of Scripture is that God calls people beyond their natural abilities, not because they are sufficient in themselves, but because he is sufficient for them. God's answer to Moses was not a reassurance about Moses' gifts, but a promise of his presence: “I will be with you.” 

God led Paul step by step into his apostolic calling, just as he patiently carried Peter from failure to faithfulness. The foundation of Christian discipleship and leadership is never self-confidence but God-confidence; not trust in our own capacity, but trust in the God who calls, equips, sustains and, by his grace, accomplishes his purposes through us.

Looking back, I see the Lord's gentle leading. From leading musical worship as a teenager, to Bible studies and the Christian Union at music college, to exploring ordination, he led me one step at a time. Even then, I could not imagine being a parish priest. How could I ever do that? Yet the Lord was faithful, providing all I needed for each new step.

Looking at the young people at Danehill, many having just completed GCSEs, A-levels, or T-levels, I am conscious of the challenges they face. They often hear that opportunities are limited and that investment in their generation is lacking. Yet Scripture speaks a different word over their lives. They are God's handiwork, “created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10). Their worth is not determined by exam results, social media influence, or the strength of the opportunities available to them. It is rooted in the God who created them, calls them, and walks with them. The same God who guided Moses, Peter and Paul is still calling young men and women today, leading them step by step into the works he has prepared for them. Their task is not to have the whole plan mapped out, but to trust the One who does.

Returning to that podcast question, I am less struck by what my seven-year-old self would think of me now and more by what it reveals about the Lord's work in my life. That seven-year-old girl, struggling with confidence and communication, could never have imagined leading others in faith or serving as a priest. Like Moses, Peter and Paul before her, she would have asked, "How could I ever do that?"

The answer is simple: she couldn't. Not in her own strength.

Throughout Scripture, God's pattern is not to reveal the whole journey, but to call his people to trust him one step at a time. The Lord does not give us today's grace for tomorrow's calling; he gives us grace sufficient for each step of faithful obedience.

What I would tell my seven-year-old self is this: You could never do that in your own strength, but Christ can do that in you. Trust him to shape you, stretch you and lead you. The God who calls is the God who equips, and his purposes are always greater than our imagination. In the end, the story is not about what we are capable of achieving for Christ, but about what Christ is able to accomplish in and through those who trust him.