The Roar Within

From the moment Ruth Lee begins talking, her warmth and empathy shine through. As the Youth and Children’s Ministry Lead for her Anglican diocese, and married to a vicar, leadership has always been part of her natural landscape. For years, she stepped into new spaces and took on expanding responsibilities, operating across both parish and diocesan levels.

Yet, beneath her steady presence was a reality many leaders in ministry recognise: she was muddling through.

Ruth had never received formal leadership training. While nothing was going wrong, she found herself routinely stretched, pushed out of her comfort zone, and privately carrying the subtle, nagging anxiety that can accompany responsibility. 'I had this secret fear,' Ruth admits, 'a fear that I was going to be rubbish.'

When her line manager—an Arrow Leadership Programme alumnus—suggested she consider the course, Ruth naturally worried. Already feeling stretched, the prospect of taking four full weeks out for residentials felt daunting. The application form itself carried immense weight. Deep, intentional, and spiritually rigorous, it forced her to confront questions she had ignored. Yet, as she prayed over every answer, the fear began to shift. The form made her want it more. Doors began opening in every direction, offering green lights she couldn't ignore. Ruth realised the doors were open; she just had to walk through them.

At the very first Arrow residential, participants were asked to bring an object that symbolised their current place in life and leadership. Ruth brought a map.

Looking at it, she saw a clear reflection of her internal feelings, asking herself 'I’m doing this, but I’m not really sure where I’m going and why. Am I taking the best route? There is not just one path ahead. Where am I, what am I doing, what journey am I going on?'

She had entered the programme hoping to gain practical tools to lead people better, understand her own skillset and working patterns, and steward her responsibilities for the Kingdom of God. What she found over the course of Arrow was completely transformational.

It began with the practical foundation: personality tools that offered clear, factual frameworks for understanding herself and those around her. But Arrow quickly moved beyond this initial establishment of the basics. The environment was intentionally structured to minister to the leaders themselves. In an era of constant digital noise in which it can be difficult to switch off, the strict policy against using phones or connecting with work created a rare and important boundary. Participants were not even allowed to clear tables after meals; the team running the programme led everything so that attendees could give themselves fully to the experience.

'It was so freeing,' Ruth reflects. 'It gave me the ability to be completely immersed and ministered to entirely.'

Each day began with prayer and Bible teaching before any training content was introduced. This rhythm ensured that practical strategy was deeply married to character and heart work. For Ruth, who struggled with anxiety, the safety of the environment was vital. No one was pushed beyond their limits — just given gentle, encouragement to step further.

Alongside the residentials, the dedicated mentorship proved invaluable. Having an experienced mentor focused entirely on helping her process what she was learning provided the ongoing momentum needed between residentials. 'You work so hard,' Ruth says, 'but the space to process it all was priceless.'

Nearly a year after completing Arrow, the shift in Ruth’s leadership is undeniable. Where conflict used to feel daunting, the tools and frameworks she gained gave Ruth the language and strength to handle difficult conversations. Since completing the course, Ruth has successfully navigated conflict situations with calm assurance.

Her daily ministry pattern has changed, too. 'There is a much greater self-awareness now,' she notes. 'I can recognise when things aren't working and know what I need to do about it. Leadership is actually more fun now because I am able to play to my strengths rather than just charging through everything.'

Crucially, Arrow offered an environment free of judgment, allowing Ruth to embrace both her strengths and her weaknesses with peace. Recognising a weak spot no longer feels like failure; it feels like an invitation to collaborate, reach out and let others step in.

At the Moving On day at the end of the programme, participants were asked to bring a final object representing their transformation. Ruth brought a small soft toy lion, borrowed from a few young people in her youth group.

The contrast between the map and the lion capture the heart of her Arrow journey perfectly.

'Arrow gave me permission to step into the confidence and courage that you imagine a lion having,' Ruth shares. 'Lions don't overthink anything; they just get on with it. It was about drawing out what God had already placed inside me.'

For Ruth, that courage isn't about self-reliance or manufacturing a bold personality. It is deeply rooted in grace. 'It’s not me trying harder or doing better,' she explains, 'but rather that the lion’s roar is God working in me. Courage is what I’ve gained vast amounts of through Arrow.'

Today, Ruth continues her work leading youth and children’s ministry in her diocese and contributing to her local parish, but she steps into those spaces with a fundamentally renewed spirit.

To anyone standing on the edge of applying for Arrow — perhaps feeling the weight of their own self-doubt or wondering if they are 'leader-y' enough — Ruth’s advice is direct and straightforward.

'Discern if this is the right time, and if it is, go for it. You might have that initial wobble where you feel like everyone else is more qualified but go and get the most out of it that you can. Allow the vulnerability of the experience to transform you. In the right season, you won't regret it.'

Leadership in ministry will always bring moments that push individuals past our comfort zone. But as Ruth’s story proves, when we allow God to do the deep heart work, we don't have to settle for just muddling through. We can step forward into the fullness of who He made us to be — leading not in our own strength, but in the quiet, confident roar of His