My vicar husband wanted the welcome team at church to experience what it felt like to arrive new to church, feeling a little daunted and unsure…
So, he took some of them to place a bet at the local bookmakers. They quickly got the point: crossing the threshold of a betting shop felt awkward and unfamiliar. They did not know where to stand, what to do, or whether they would accidentally break some unwritten rule. Nothing bad happened, but they felt distinctly out of place and uncomfortable. Attending church for the first time can feel much the same.
People wonder what to wear, where to sit, whether they will know when to stand up and sit down, or whether their children will make too much noise. Beneath all of those practical questions often sits a deeper one:
"Will I be the only person here who doesn't really belong?"
Yet something interesting happens at Harvest, Christmas and Easter.
Many of those barriers suddenly become lower. People have some idea of what to expect. Invitations are given more freely. People know there will be others attending who do not normally come to church. And where schools are involved, the invitation often arrives through one of the most trusted institutions in community life.
Attendance rises around festivals.
But are churches are making the most of what happens next?
Recently, I spoke with several families who had attended our Christmas and/or Easter celebrations but otherwise do not come to church. Their reflections were remarkably consistent:
1. The challenge isn't interest. It's confidence.
Every family I spoke to had enjoyed being there. They spoke warmly about the welcome they received. They valued the community. They had enjoyed participating in the service. Several expressed genuine curiosity about faith and said they would like to attend again. But they never came back.
What held them back was not opposition. It was confidence.
Coming to a festival service had felt manageable. Turning up on an ordinary Sunday felt much more vulnerable. So much so, that it was a step they had not managed to take on their own.
Interestingly, they all said they would welcome more opportunities throughout the year that felt a little like festivals: occasions that carried a clear invitation and where they knew others would also be attending for the first time.
2. A clear reason to come matters
One theme came through particularly strongly was that people find it easier to come when they feel they have been invited to something specific.
The Easter invitation had arrived through school, through friends, and in some cases with an offer to meet beforehand and walk in together. That combination had made a significant difference.
I asked tentatively whether they would be willing to attend a regular Sunday service and help us reflect on the experience of newcomers. To my surprise, they were delighted and all were eager to arrange a Sunday when they could do this. I was really shocked at their enthusiasm to return when there had been so many weeks in which they could have joined us but hadn’t.
What had changed? They now had a reason to come, and one that left them feeling empowered. They had a role and a really strong indication that their presence was important to us and would be welcomed. Also, they had full freedom to critique their experience which made it feel safe for them.
3. People like knowing they won't be the only newcomer
Festival services provide safety in numbers.
Parents know there will be other families attending who are also trying something unfamiliar. That shared experience lowers the social risk considerably. A regular Sunday can feel different. People worry that everyone else already knows one another. They fear standing out.
It is easy for those of us who attend every week to underestimate just how significant that feeling can be.
What might this mean for churches and schools?
The more I reflected on these conversations, the more I found myself thinking about the role of schools. Schools already follow a rhythm of festivals and milestones throughout the year:
Harvest, Remembrance, Christmas, Epiphany, Lent, Easter, Pentecost, Transition.
Churches often play a significant part in these occasions through assemblies, collective worship, prayer spaces, church visits and special events. Yet these encounters often remain within the orbit of school life. They create familiarity, trust and goodwill, but they do not always help families feel confident enough to take part in the worshipping life of the local church.
Rather than seeing these as standalone events, what happens when we treat them as part of a wider journey?
The parents I spoke with were keen to engage more with church. What held them back was that their next step felt too daunting. They were looking for a reason to come, a familiar face, and the reassurance that they would not be doing it alone.
Not every family will want to journey further. But for those who do, perhaps the challenge is not simply how we welcome people at Harvest, Christmas and Easter. It is how we create a series of accessible invitations throughout the year that enable people move gradually from festival attendance to deeper participation in the life of the church.
If you are interested to explore ideas of how you might approach this, join us on Jan 20 1:15-2pm for a free webinar: From Festival to Faith. Booking page to be published soon